I lived in NYC for 5+ years and just recently moved away. Initially, the wife and I lived and worked in FiDi in a "large" studio, but when we had a baby we quickly realized we needed more space, so we tried Brooklyn. After ~1 year we realized living in the city was completely unsustainable so we moved to Paulus Hook in Jersey City. It was the best decision we could've made.
Paulus Hook is not cheap by any means, but it is cheaper than Manhattan (and Brooklyn Heights / Dumbo / Cobble Hill), taxes are substantially lower and it is so quiet in comparison to NYC (which is important to me because after a 80+ hour workweek, I like to relax during "protected" Saturdays). My commute was even shorter than when I lived in Brooklyn. Also, buildings were actually built with the purpose of being residential spaces - unlike the apartment buildings you find in FiDi, that used to be corporations until a developer moved in and shoved apartment units into every little awkward space they could find. None of those pre-war, 4-flights-of-stairs deals either. We lived there happily for 3+ years.
For me, it was never about any "shootings and lootings" because I never really ran into that (I did get mugged once, tho), or sub-par education for my kid (she's always been in private school). It was more about me working my ass off like a maniac in a high-paying job trying to build a career that would allow me to give my family the life I want for them, and never really getting any closer to where I wanted – even as I escalated through my bank’s hierarchy. Moving out of NYC really made the difference for me, even if it was as close as moving over the Hudson. It certainly reflected in my mood and my overall well-being (I get all the stress I need from my job – don’t need my living situation to add any more).
A more senior colleague once said to me on the topic of being an investment banker and a Dad: "you have to take comfort in knowing that your family will be provided for, but you won't be there". I'm trying to break that stigma so now, I live in Houston. I transferred to the HOU office with the same firm, same salary and same seniority back in April. Life’s is so different here; huge living spaces, a ton of nature, friendly neighbors, etc. Thus far, I do get a lot more life balance than back when I worked in NYC, but might be too soon to tell (specially with the whole WFM situation). Weather sucks, but then again: it sucked in NYC too.
I would still recommend living in NYC to really get the ‘finance experience’… as long as you’re single and don’t really have any other priorities than getting said experience. Once you’re in the family boat, 10/10 I’d tell you it’s time to move out (unless you’re rich – then stay and enjoy the best restaurants on the planet along with everything else the city has to offer, walk over the homeless people and laugh at the many social problems described in detail on previous posts and countless web articles).